Do You Feel Like You Are On a Roller Coaster?

"Life is a roller coaster. Sometimes you're at the top of the hill feeling good. Other times you're heading for the bottom feeling totally out of control." ~Reggie Dabbs

"I feel like I am on a roller coaster," one of my executive coaching clients recently opined. When he said it, I knew exactly what he meant. I feel like it a lot myself and my other clients often complain about that feeling. Together we decided to deconstruct what was going on. We talked about what he was doing when he was at the top. And we talked about what he was doing when he is at the bottom; "I feel totally overwhelmed," he said.

"How much time would you estimate that you are at the bottom?" His thoughtful response was, "At least 50% of the time."

Oh, oh. I thought. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. Being at the bottom that much, of course is a danger signal. But what is even more alarming is the process of careening down to the bottom--the rush of adrenaline one gets, along with the fear about whether you are going to make it down safely. Research shows that when we are in such heightened state of alarm that we don't think clearly and it is hard to make good decisions.

One of my most important jobs as a coach is to slow that process down. I help people to think about what is going on so that they don't careen down to the bottom out of control.

I suggested, "Would you mind keeping track this week of where you are on the roller coaster ride, so that we can get a benchmark of where you are?" We crafted a plan: Every day my client would chart how many hours he estimated that he was at the top of the roller coaster.

The following week I asked him how that he had gone. "Really great," he said with excitement. I called my chart "My Hours of Thrills."

"So what did you find out?" He said, "That is the really great part! It turns out I am at the top of the roller coaster 6-8 hours every work day."

He was surprised and so was I. I flipped back through my notes just to check my memory. "You know last week you told me that you were at the bottom at least 50% of the time." "I did?" He was stunned.

We decided to track another week. Same story--on the top 6-8 hours a day!

Turns out that my client is not on much of a roller coaster at all. But, now he knows it. Knowing it is a big help. Now when he is going down the slope he knows it is just a baby ride, not much of a slope at all. No rush of adrenaline and no fear. And knowing this, he was easily able to talk about what he needs to do when he is heading down the slope--coming up with solutions was a snap for him now.

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